Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
