I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
