We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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