but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize