I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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