I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
