I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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