we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
