Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
