How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
