I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
