i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
