Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
