what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
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