bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
