I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
