Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
