Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
