I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
