If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Randomize
