I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
