I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
