Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
