When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
