I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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