I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
