But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
