Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
