i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Randomize
