She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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