he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
