Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
