I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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