Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
