That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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