I cockslap morals
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
