If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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