white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
