I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
