I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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