omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
