You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
