So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
