So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
