That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
