Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I have tasted many bathrooms
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
