marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
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