You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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