Me. At least after what I've been through.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
