doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
